My Commandments...

1) Be me.
2) Wherever you go, there you are.
3) Forget the past.
4) Begin within.
5) Count your blessings.
6) Don’t worry, be happy.
7) Be fearless.
8) Remember love.
9) You can’t take it with you.
10) Enjoy the journey.


1) “Be me.” Gretchen Rubin’s first commandment is “Be Gretchen.” I feel like I cannot have “Be Barbara” though, because the people who call me Barbara are mostly co-workers, strangers, acquaintances, etc. My family, boyfriend, and close friends call me Barbie. I have various other nicknames by other people, each reflecting how I am with them. So I chose “Be me.” A major theme in Gretchen’s book is how we like or do a lot of things that be think we should like or do, because that is more sophisticated, accepted, etc. This commandment is for me to be myself and only like and do things that I want to do. Frankly, I cannot stand most indie music that all the "intellectuals" listen to. Music is my happy, comfort retreat. I don’t want to listen to a guy in thick-rimmed glasses and an American Apparel henley strumming on his acoustic about peace or war. Honestly, I want to listen to Taylor Swift sing about Romeo and Juliet or Miley Cyrus sing about the 7 things she hates/loves about Nick Jonas. This one, while it’s a continual work in progress, is something I’ve actually worked on a lot in the past year. I am more myself than I ever have been, and that makes me genuinely happy because I’m not trying to change for anyone else.

2) “Wherever you go, there you are.” My pa-pa used to say this all the time. Sometimes just at random after you’d finish telling him a story. When I was younger, I didn’t quite understand it. I just thought it was one of those funny grown up sayings that got a big chuckle out of the other grown ups in the room. Now that my Barbies and Easy Bake Oven aren’t the most important things in my life, I realize that it’s about working with what you’ve got. Wherever you go, wherever you are in life…well, that’s where you are. Deal with it. You can’t close your eyes and magically wish you were something/someone/somewhere else. Deal with what you have and make the most of it, because there you are.

3) “Forget the past.” This will be my mantra throughout October, when I’m working on my relationship with my boyfriend. And something I’ll go over more then. Just know that I’m working on it, and though the past helps you not repeat mistakes, you also have to live in the moment and not dwell on things that are not the same as they once were. It’s pointless.

4) “Begin within.” This is a spin off Michael Jackson’s epic song about taking a look in the mirror and starting with that, instead of pointing fingers at someone else. Whenever I have a problem, I need to begin within. Figure out why I’m upset about it, what I can do to change it. The biggest thing I’ve learned in the last two years is that you can only change one person on this planet, and that’s yourself.

5) “Count your blessings.” I live penny-to-penny, yes. I complain about having to save up money for my boyfriend’s birthday present or having to turn down an extra vacation with old college friends because I cannot afford it. What I should be thinking of instead is that my paycheck covers everything. I’m able to afford a car payment, gas, full coverage auto and renter’s insurance, two student loans, credit card bill (which I do not use anymore and am just paying off, thanks to Dave Ramsey!), a cell phone with internet and texting, rent with utilities, groceries, and have enough left over TO save for birthday presents, future trips, etc. And if an emergency pops up where I need extra money? I’m blessed with parents who are always willing to help out. A lot of people in this world don’t have that…and for that, I am truly blessed.

6) “Don’t worry, be happy.” I need to stop stressing, over-analyzing, and worrying. What good does it do me?

7) “Be fearless.” I was inspired by the idea of being fearless so much that I tattooed it on my ankle to be reminded of it forever. A lot of people make fun of my tattoo, because I’m a nervous, scaredy-cat that took forever to even tell my parents about my tattoo. To them, that isn’t the definition of fearless. And to go along with commandment #1 and quoting someone who I love, Taylor Swift says it best: "To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again...even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost." And so on. =)

8) “Remember love.” I think most people in relationships get swept up in the day-to-day monotony of being in one that they forget why they’re together in the first place. Love. Is it really worth my aggravation when my boyfriend complains about how tired he is, then stays up until 4 in the morning anyway? Or worth me getting frustrated and taking that out on him when his kid’s mom doesn’t show up again? Or me flying off the handle when he sits there waiting for me to get ready to go somewhere, then when I'm ready, we have to wait 10 minutes for him to find shoes and socks and keys? No. I still love him, that’s not going to change. And what does me being angry solve? Nothing.

9) “You can’t take it with you.” I’m a saver. I save things. That bottle of Clinique Happy perfume I bought with my 16th birthday money? As my first bottle of “grown up perfume,” I’ve clung to it for years. Used it 4 times in 6 years: junior and senior proms, high school and college graduations. It’s “the good stuff” and I don’t want to waste it on normal days when I can use cheaper body spray. But why? Why not make every day special? When I die, what’s the use of leaving behind a ¾ filled bottle of perfume that I didn’t get to appreciate? You can’t take it with you, so might as well enjoy it while you can.

10) “Enjoy the journey.” My biggest struggle. My dad told me in college that I practically refuse to see “the middle stuff.” My brain is so focused on the final at the end of the semester, that I can’t take the class day-by-day and do what needs to be done to get there. Same with life. I feel this intense need to solve every possible issue my boyfriend and I could have RIGHT NOW, because what happens when we’re married? First off, that’s not for 2+ years. Why waste the precious dating years we have with worrying about custody, and kids, and what city we’re going to live in? Eventually, we have to solve those things, but since we’ve decided we’re doing “forever,” we really don’t have to solve them right now. Enjoy the journey, and stop focusing on the end.