Just another manic Monday...

Today was one of those weird emotional days, where you don't know why you're weepy, but you just are.

Around 8:30am or so, when I realized it was my baby sister's first day of college, I started tearing up. I sat there and remembered our middle sister and I sitting her down in our play room when she was in pre-school and yelling "Pay attention Katie!" as we wrote out words for her to sound out, or simple math equations for her to solve. When she started bringing home boyfriends, I told my boyfriend that it made me almost sick to my stomach.

"She's too young to have boyfriends!" I exclaimed.
"You started having boyfriends at that age too," he pointed out.
"But she's the baby," I tried to rationalize.

He was actually working close to my work today (he travels for his job), and I was supposed to go visit him over my lunch break. His team finished a lot earlier than usual, so they headed back home before I was able to get off work. I had to run to the bathroom so I wouldn't be crying at my desk.

Then I came home (to my new home) after work, which threw me for a loop. I got lost trying to go the back way (instead of the highway in rush-hour traffic), I couldn't find the grocery store, and when I got here, my room isn't completely put together. I felt sad and alone, and this big change I've felt so positive about for a month now suddenly felt like the completely wrong thing to do.

Basically, this entire day boiled down to me being upset at change. It's hard for me to think of my baby sister going to college, when I feel like it was just yesterday I was there and she was sending me letters about mom and dad fixing hamburgers that night for dinner. Or expecting to see my boyfriend, and having my plans change without my say-so. Or not being familiar with my new area and not having everything in my room in its exact place yet.

It'll all get there. In a way, I'm excited about getting to visit my sister at college and be the "older sister living in the big city." I get to see Matt in four more days, and it's a long weekend, so we'll have more time than usual to spend together. And just like I adjusted when I first moved to this area last year, I'll eventually find the grocery store and gas station. My September part of this project was exactly for this - organizing my new life, getting out there and being more active in my new surroundings.

Here's hoping I don't keep crying over it.